Bloggers Giving Back {Well Boxed}

Some days I feel like we made a huge mistake moving to San Diego.  Some days it seems that there might be a better place in the world for us to be right now.  Then, days like last Saturday happen and I realize this might just be exactly where we're supposed to be right now.

Saturday I attended another Bloggers Giving Back event with a bunch of incredible women who also happen to be bloggers.  The organizers, who have no military affiliation what so ever, chose to support our troops for their 2nd giving back event.  Each attendee chose a deployed Soldier (or Airman, Marine, Sailor) from AnySoldier.com and bought items to make a care package for that person.

We were supplied with boxes, decorations, food, wine and great company!

  It was eye opening to participate and see how non-military spouses view care packages that are such a large part of a military spouse's life.  Some of these women were super creative and had some great ideas.  During my husband's 2 deployments I sent him more boxes than I can count but I never in a million years thought to decorate them or create a theme for them (this was 07 & 09, before Pinterest).

There was so much good stuff packed into these boxes, I know the guys & gals are going to love receiving them!

I look forward to seeing these ladies each month, I just wish they weren't quite so far away.  Thankfully we're all bloggers and active on social media so even though we only see each other once a month, I feel like I am getting to know them all so well.  I can't wait to learn what we'll be doing next month (and I hope I can squeeze it into my insanely busy schedule in April).

Adam's Song

Last week we received some news that shook me to my core.  A friend of Jason's, who was stationed in Japan with us and left the Army just a few months before us, took his own life here in SoCal.  I didn't know him very well but we lived in the same small community for 3 years and he was my husband's peer and friend.  I know suicide is, sadly, a rampant problem in the military and among veterans but this is the first time it has closely touched my life (unfortunately I cannot say the same for Jason).  This is not the first time I've been effected by suicide, but for some reason, this one seems to be more difficult to wrap my head around.  I think that in some irrational way, I feel like, what if it had been my husband?  We don't know why Chris made the decision he made but my mind immediately goes to the possiblity that years at war, on some level, had an affect on him. (These are my own personal thoughts and assumptions, not based on any known facts, but this is my blog so I'm sharing what I feel)  What if war had affected Jason in that way?  What if he was in a dark, lonely place?  I've never been so grateful for my husband and every day I share with him.  If you believe in the power of prayer, please pray for Chris's family (he was unmarried and didn't have any children).

The WHO (World Health Organization) estimates that over 1 million people die from suicide each year.  It is believed by some that suicide is preventable.  Here are some signs that you can look for in someone that may be considering ending their life:

Suicide Warning Signs
Talking about suicide	Any talk about suicide, dying, or self-harm, such as "I wish I hadn't been born," "If I see you again..." and "I'd be better off dead."
Seeking out lethal means	Seeking access to guns, pills, knives, or other objects that could be used in a suicide attempt.
Preoccupation with death	Unusual focus on death, dying, or violence. Writing poems or stories about death.
No hope for the future	Feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, and being trapped ("There's no way out"). Belief that things will never get better or change.
Self-loathing, self-hatred	Feelings of worthlessness, guilt, shame, and self-hatred. Feeling like a burden ("Everyone would be better off without me").
Getting affairs in order	Making out a will. Giving away prized possessions. Making arrangements for family members.
Saying goodbye	Unusual or unexpected visits or calls to family and friends. Saying goodbye to people as if they won't be seen again.
Withdrawing from others	Withdrawing from friends and family. Increasing social isolation. Desire to be left alone.
Self-destructive behavior	Increased alcohol or drug use, reckless driving, unsafe sex. Taking unnecessary risks as if they have a "death wish."
Sudden sense of calm	A sudden sense of calm and happiness after being extremely depressed can mean that the person has made a decision to commit suicide.

In college, I had a friend who decided one day that he was going to give away everything he owned.  He literally put all of his belongings on the lawn in front of his house.  3 days later he attempted to take his own life.  I didn't know then that he had been displaying outwards signs of desperation for weeks.

Please take the time to educate yourself and be vigilant of the signs others are putting out there.  You never know when a friendly gesture can change someones life.

We hadn't seen Chris for a couple months and looking back, I don't remember seeing any of these signs.  I don't know that there was any indication this was going to happen, and perhaps then there wasn't any, at least not then.  No one will ever know.

Chris, your radiant smile will be missed by many.  May you rest in eternal peace.

Ms. Independent

Today I had one of those days when I wasn't sure if I should laugh or cry.  The irony of my current situation caught my totally off guard.  For nearly 6 years I was married to a man in the Army, thus earning the title of "dependent".  I've always thought of myself as fiercely INdependent, in fact, the first time my husband asked me to marry him, I said no. Why?  Because the thought of quitting my job and moving to another state where I would be totally dependent on someone else FREAKED ME OUT!  Obviously my love for him overcame those initial fears and I eventually grew not to associate "dependent" with "weak" or "incapable".  While we were in the military, I still managed to maintain some sense of independence by involving myself in activities that were independent of my husband.  Sure we had many couple friends and enjoyed lots of activities together but I still had a part of my life that was separate from "us" (PWOC, this blog, etc).

Now that we are separated from the military and I am no longer deemed a "dependent" by the US government, I find myself more dependent on my husband than ever.  Sure, I'm the main income earner in our family now, so financially I'm less dependent on him, but in every other way, I find myself more and more dependent on him.  I find that I'm relying more and more on my husband for my social interactions and thus, for this extrovert, my happiness, and it's putting a lot of pressure on our relationship.  Luckily for me, I married an awesome man and more than 6 years after saying "I do", he loves me more than I deserve.  And you know what, after all these years, I've learned I'm O.K. being dependent on him.

photo courtesy of Loft3

Still a Military Spouse at Heart

I haven't talked about it here but the job I started last month didn't pan out.  It was a temp to hire position and I had hopes it would become a permanent position but things just didn't happen that way.  For the past 2 weeks I've been at another temp job until something else comes along.  At this temp job, all of the employees had to attend a Cultural Competency Training  titled “Debunking Aging Myths”.  Since I'm a temp I didn't have to attend but I browsed through the PowerPoint anyways.  One of the slides made me literally LOL.

 

In and of itself it isn't funny but when I realized you could change the title to "Events indicating a Military Spouse is PCS'ing" and read it again, it fits perfectly!  I have done everyone of those things in some capacity during a PCS move.

Our Group is Growing

A couple months ago a small group of military spouse bloggers living in San Diego got together and we've been getting together once a month ever since.  What started out as a small group of 5 has now nearly doubled into a group of 9!  This weekend, 8 of us (we missed you Emily!) got together for lunch and pottery painting.  We are all very different but have so much in common that we never run out of things to talk about and laughter always echoes around us.  These get together have become something I look forward to every month.

 3 of the OG's (Original Girls, of course!)

Nicole, Kara and Katie

The ladies painting.

  

  

The whole group!

Left to right:

Elizabeth of The Young Retiree
Nicole of Adventures of a Semper Fi Family
Yours Truly
Kara of Ramblings of a Marine Wife
Ines of the few, THE PROUD, the wife
Victoria of Anchored by Faith
Katieof Going Coastal
Katherine of The Newsom's Nest

Katie blessed each of us with cookies and individualized homemade ornaments!

We've already started discussing plans for next month so if you're in the area (Jordan, I'm talking to you.  We're meeting in your part of town in January) and want to join us, let one of us know, we'd love to have you!







30 Days of Thanfulness {Days 11}

Each day this month I'm joining up with Katie to share with you the many things I am thankful for. I'd love to hear what you're thankful for.

Day 11:
Today {and everyday} I'm thankful for the men and women who selflessly serve our country.  I'm excited to spend the day today at the airport giving back to some of these brave men and women at the USO.

PCS Progress

Orders? Check!

Plane tickets? Check!

Buster's plane reservation? Check!
Hotel reservations? Check!

Housing pre-inspection? Check!

Housing inspection? Scheduled!

HHG pre-inspection? Check!

HHG pick-up? Scheduled!

UB pick-up? Scheduled!

Find someone to buy our car? Check!

Have car inspected (so we can sell it)? Check!

Make repairs to that the car passes inspection? Scheduled!
Etc., etc., etc...

I've talked about this before, I'm a list maker.  Over the years I've learned the importance of making lists.   They help me stay focused and on track and prevent my lack of a memory from destroying my well laid out plans.  For this PCS/ETS, I currently have about 9 or 10 lists that I'm tracking.  Some of them include: pcs check list (part of which is seen above), expenses (things we're going to have to buy once we arrive in San Diego), things to sell, unaccompanied baggage, household goods  and things to pack in our suitcases/not let the packers pack.  Keeping these lists allow me to monitor our progress.  They are constantly being amended and grow as each day passes.

My best friend here is leaving at the same time we are (9 days before us) and we were discussing the lack of guidance we've found when it comes to PCS'ing.  We kept searching for a "suggested list" of items to pack in each of our shipments and on our person when we travel.  We were unable to come up with any so I decided to share with you what we came up with. (Jessica from Jessica Lynn Writes shared her list earlier this week.  Her's includes lots of suggestions if you're traveling with children.)

For our fast shipment, or unaccompanied baggage (UB) as the Army calls it:

*air mattress (if not carrying in your suitcase)
*1 set of sheets/blanket/pillows

*1 set of bath towels/bath mats (we take the ones from our guest bathroom)

*shower curtain

*professional gear (for family members)

*camping chairs/something to sit on until your furniture arrives & a folding table

*kitchen supplies to include cookie sheets, crock pot, pots/pans, knives, spices, Tupperware, and dishes/utensils.

*weather appropriate clothing for your destination
*hangers
*laundry basket

*shoes that you won't be traveling with

*games/DVD's/books (not all of them, just a small selection)
*EMPTY trash can
*computer
*first aid kit
*apron
*hammer/screw driver
*can opener

My personal list includes:

*tent/camping gear

*rice cooker

*our bicycles

*design magazines (I cannot wait to decorate our new home)

*a box fan (our place in SD may or may not have AC)

*grocery bags

Anything you would add to this list?  I'd love to hear your suggestions!  I hope some of you find this information useful.  It's not all encompassing but I think it's a good starting base.

I can't leave you guys without a photo so here's one of the husband and I at a ceremony this week...I have no idea why I'm looking at him that way but it made me chuckle...what do you think is going through my head in this moment?

Hardest goodbye of my life

Last week the awesome women I teach English on Wednesdays took me out for a wonderful meal.

This week I taught them my final lesson

Class A

Class B

As a military spouse, I've said hundreds of goodbyes but none have been as difficult as this one.  I managed to keep myself composed through both classes, then at the end of the second class, the ladies sang to me and I lost it!  I will never be able to hear "You Are My Sunshine" again without thinking of these beautiful women.  I cannot even begin to put into words how much I'm going to miss them.  They came into my life with such love and enthusiasm and have brought so much joy to my time here in Japan.

I know some of you read this so I want to say thank you.  Thank you for allowing me into your hearts and sharing your lives with me.  Please come see me in California!  I miss all of you already.

Military Life

Earlier this week, I read chapter 30 of the Army Wife Handbook {it was given to me as a gift, I figured I might as well read part of it}.  Today I attended a 6 hour class at ACS.  Anyone want to take a guess what is about to happen?!?!?  

Almost 2 years after my husband graduated from CCC {Captains Career Course}, it's almost time for him to take company command.  In less than 2 weeks, I will be the proud wife of the ICORP FWD HHC company commander.  Along with his new job title comes the responsibility of maintaining the company FRG {Family Readiness Group}.  What that really means is, since no spouse has stepped up to lead said group {it's usually led by a spouse of someone in the unit under the supervision of the CC}, that it falls on Jason's plate.  This leaves me with 2 options.  1. Let him do it which in turn means more work for him which leads to less time to spend with me.  or 2. Step up and volunteer to lead the group myself.  Since I actually enjoy spending time with my husband, I have chosen option 2.  The only problem with this is that until recently, I have never even attended an FRG meeting {we've been through a string of unusual units/circumstances}.  I basically have NO clue what I'm doing but if it makes my husbands life easier, I'm going to do my best to figure it out!  I pray that a more experienced wife steps up and offers to help me but for now I'm trying to suck up as much information as possible. {Any advice/resources/thoughts/comments/experiences would be appreciated}

Just when I thought my schedule was going to calm down a bit, I've realized it's probably going to do quite the opposite.  I picked up an English teaching gig as a sub for one of my friends, at least once a month.  PWOC has started back up again.  I was elected secretary of the photography club on base. {I wasn't even around for that one, I received an email the morning after the meeting I missed saying "Congratulations!...." lol}.  The spouses group here has kicked off a new year.  I'm still teaching my regular students.  I started taking Japanese lessons. My volunteer projects.  This blog.  Holiday season.  Now the role of FRG leader?!?!  Thank God for my Lilly planner or I might just lose my head!  I really need to schedule in time to go to the gym too before the pounds creep up on me.  I wanted to start taking some classes and get to work on finishing my undergrad degree but that is going to have to wait until I see exactly how much time these commitments are going to take up.

I have always thought my time management skills were above par but I guess we are going to find out here in the next couple months!

And because I can't post without a photo, here is a shot of me and some of the awesome girls I met through All Hands hanging out in Tokyo