Last week, this photo popped up on my timehop (if you don't know about timehop, it's an app that shows you what you posted on social media in years past, I kind of love it).
I was stunned at how young Jason looks in a photo that is only 3 years old. He looks more like the guy I started dating 9 years ago than how he does now. We got to talking about how much each of us has changed and we agreed he has definitely changed more physically, but I've changed a lot in other ways. Most notably, my confidence level is infinitely higher than it was 9 years ago. When Jason and I started dating I was full of insecurities and couldn't understand why a guy as hot as Jason would even look twice at me. Obviously he saw things in me that I was incapable of seeing because I was blinded by my own lack of self esteem.
It pains me to see young girls dealing with the emotions I felt as a teen/young adult. I still have my moments of doubt (hello, number on the scale that I've never seen before...I'm talking to you!) but I know now that things weren't nearly as bad as I played them up to be in my head. Recently my cousin's teenage daughter, whom I don't know that well, has been posting things to her Facebook that I'm certain if Facebook had been around when I was a teen, I would have posted as well. Her words were my thoughts (and probably my words in my old diary/journal)...
My life motto should be, "He's not into you."
Like instead of ignoring me, at least tell me I'm not good enough.
Not to be a typical girl, but I think I'm forever alone. No joke..
Why am I the most awkward person ever
I don't know if it would have made a difference back then if someone had told me what I want to tell her but I want to try. I want to scream at her that she is good enough and she won't be alone forever but I feel like I don't have the words. I want to tell her that these feelings will pass, and one day, she will find a man that will be worthy of her love, that one day she will love herself enough to truly be loved by another. That she is a beautiful, smart, strong young girl who is worthy of all the love and respect in the world. That she is perfect just the way she is, that she shouldn't try to change to fit some socially acceptable idea of what a teenage girl should be or what she thinks a guy wants her to be.
I want her to know that everything will work out and everything will be O.K., better than O.K. even.